Beautiful Sparkle:The Readable Version
by SeleneIlene
Summary: Yes, the return of Beautifulpaw/Sparklefur. Now you can actually understand the story! I do NOT own Warriors,or this plot. It belongs to KawaiiBlodyRose. I'm rewriting it. M for language and slight pervertedness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I don't own Warriors, the Erins do. But what's even sadder is that I don't own this story, technically. It belongs to my dear friend KawaiiBlodyRose. I'm rewriting Beautiful Sparkle, because some people might not be able to even read it because of the horrible spelling(no offense, KawaiiBlodyRose.)

**A/N:** I'm making the story better and the plot even more hilariously ridiculous because it needed to be done.

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><p><strong>Thunderclan Allegiances<strong>

_Leader: _Macaronistar

_Deputy: _Christmasleaf

_Medicine Cats: _Wintersnow

Rainkit

Starwater

Zombiepaw

_Warriors: _

Perfectpelt

Rareglimmer

Neptunestar

RaineyMonday

Columbiafoot

Dandelionbutterfly

Topsies

Wishdream

Rainderhoof

Pinappleleaf

Zoefoot

Angelwing

Starsky

Roserose

_Apprentices: _

Princesspaw/crown

DiamondTiaraSnowpaw/foot

Beautifulpaw/Sparklefur***MAIN***

Daisypaw/wind

Redpaw/Reflate

Greenpaw/wind

Flamepaw/wind

Eclipsepaw/venom

Darkpaw/heart

Morningpaw/face

Lostpaw/flower

Isabellapaw/lover

_Kits: _

Commetkit

_Queens:_

Frostmouth

Fuzzyleap

Hazelstalker

Hollowdust

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><p><strong>AN:** So, yes. Some of those names I couldn't even decipher, so I chose to just leave them the same. No, none of this is mine. I'm not claiming any rights to this, guys. So, don't even bother bitching about it.

Next update will be soon, I promise! And even if everyone hates this, I'm going to continue posting this, because I have no life *sigh*


	2. Chapter 2 Cometkit's Birth

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own this. Erin Hunters own Warriors, and KawaiiBlodyRose mostly owns this story.

**A/N:** Yeah! I know what you're thinking, 'So soon? She must not have been lying. She really has no life.' True. Very true, guys.

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><p>Our story starts off on a seemingly peaceful morning in the ThunderClan camp. The sun is shining, bird's are singing, and everyone is perfectly happy. But a cat's yowl breaks the seemingly happiness of the whole Clan. Skyrock…was giving birth.<p>

Beautifulpaw tried to scrunch herself further into the wall of the queen's den. She hated having to be here, but Skyrock had requested her to. _Damn my good looks and wonderfully sparkling personality, _Beautifulpaw cursed. Nevermind that she was getting out of having to actually _**hunt. **_This was torture, sheer torture, but Beautifulpaw had a reputation to uphold. She couldn't slip.

"Are your kits going to be safe from SkyClan?" Beautifulpaw asked in a meow that she hoped sounded sincere.

The other queens, Frostmouth, Fuzzyleap, Hazelstalker, and Hollowdust, looked at her in confusion. "WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU IMPOSSIBLE BITCH?" Skyrock screamed, panting, "SKYCLAN'S ABOUT TWENTY-NINE MILLION FOX LENGTHS AWAY, YOU IDIOTIC MORON!"

Beautifulpaw raised a paw to scratch her head. Her Mary Sue like awesomeness must not be working today.

A kit suddenly came out of Skyrock's she-cattish parts. "I'm naming it…Cometkit," Skyrock meowed happily.

"Ok," Beautifulpaw said, slightly upset that Skyrock didn't name the kit after her, never mind if it was a male. "That's a great name!"

And suddenly everyone was happy again. Life was perfect again, even though the new mother in ThunderClan wasn't giving her poor kit milk. Cometkit mewled pitifully, raising his head, looking for the smell of it.

All the queens looked upon the sweet kit, their eyes softening. "You're going to be a great warrior," Skyrock breathed, in awe of her Cometkit. He continued to wriggle more, wondering why his supposed mother wouldn't give him any fucking milk.

Beautifulpaw looked at him in envy. _Why are they looking at that little thing? Their attention should be on me! I'm the one called beautiful, _she thought. A light bulb went off in her head, and she began crying.

_**::::::::*Up in the big sky, with the pearly gates and big man himself*:**_

_**Isaac Newton came rushing into the convention of scientist sitting around, talking about the new discoveries if the world. Papers spilled from his arms.**_

"_**Oh God, not again," Marie muttered to Benjy, banging her head on the table in front of her repeatedly.**_

"_**It seems," Isaac started crying, "That stupid cat has broken the laws of science. Again." He sank to his knees, letting the papers fall to the ground.**_

_**Shouts and cries came from everyone in the room. Benjy Frank stood up, shaking with rage. "No," he screamed. "NO!"**_

"_**I refuse to allow this! It's gone on for far too long. We were extremely generous this time, weren't we? We let that damn cat have **_hot pink crayola eyes, fur that's neon orange with sky blue patches, angel wings that are sparkly crimson, white and blue feathers, a tail that's blue-green with golden-red streaks with shimmering ruby colored ribbons, paws that glow red, sky blue legs, and wear magenta and sparkling glow-in-the-dark leg warmers and headphones!" _**Benjy screamed, shaking his fist downward to the earth below. "BUT NOW SHE HAS TO CRY?"**_

"_**Next thing you know," Leonardo murmured, clenching his hands into fists and popping his knuckles, "She'll cry tears of **__**blood**__**!"**_

"_**I say fuck Heaven, let's go down and fucking murder those furry bastards!" Nikola shouted to his brethren.**_

"_**YEAH!" Everyone shouted as one, raising their chemicals, experiments, and discoveries into the air.**_

"_**Wait, wait, wait," Albert said, lowering the chalkboard with e=mc2 written on it. "You know how crazy those Warrior fan girls can get, right?" Everyone nodded. "Well, they certainly won't be happy with someone butchering their fandom. So, I say, we let her suffer the hate, disgust, and cannibalistic urges of them. Then, we go in for the final blow, and finish that cat off! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"**_

"_**Damn, Al," Thomas said, raising his eyebrows, as he lowered the light bulb in his hands, "This takes mad genius to a whole new level."**_

_**BACK TO THE STORY::::::::::**_

"What's wrong?" Skyrock asked, looking away from the beautiful he-cat that was her flesh and blood.

Beautifulpaw shook her head and looked away. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"Yes, it is," Skyrock said, trying to get control of her temper. "Tell me."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"YES!"

"No!."

"ANSWER ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST! I HOPE YOU ROT IN FUCKING HELL!" Skyrock screamed, practically foaming at the mouth. The other queens slowly backed out of the nursery, in fear for their lives.

"Fine," Beautifulpaw sighed sadly, and continued to cry as she said, " My mom's dead!"

Skyrock's eye twitched, "What?"

Beautifulpaw, naively taking it that Skyrock didn't know this information, nodded, "Yeah. Tigerstar killed her and my sister when I was only a month old."

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT, BITCH! I was there when they got their asses slaughtered. And here I thought it was something important," Skyrock scoffed, grabbing her kit by the scruff and going to talk with cats that actually made sense.

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><p><strong>AN: **Yay! I got another chapter up. Which is really the first chapter because the first was the allegiances of Thunderclan.

I'm sorry if anyone's offended by the 'Scientists in Heaven' thing I did. It's just a joke and a weak attempt at humor. My apologies if it was offensive to some of you. It might come along again later if I feel like it, just to warn you. So, if it does bother you, you can just skip over those parts! :)

It probably isn't very good so far, but I'm hoping it will get better.

'FALMERS' GO AWAYYYYY! :)


	3. Chapter 4Which is really Chapter 2

**A/N:** Yay! Another chapter centered around Beautifulpaw! I bet you people are revved up, eh? ;)

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><p>Dedicated to <strong>Marry Me In Vegas <strong>and **AutomnFall**, my lovely reviewers. It meant a lot to me! :D

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><p>Beautifulpaw, fuming, walked out of the nursery following Skyrock and Cometkit. She looked around the camp and suddenly felt better. "It's so sunny," Beautifulpaw said in awe of the complete perfectness.<p>

Cometkit shook his head and sighed. _Why are all these cats so fucking stupid_? he thought. _Must be all the inbreeding._

Beautifulpaw looked at Cometkit, and she _**almost **_fell in love! He was so kawaii, it was incredible. It didn't matter that she hadn't noticed before, she noticed now. He was sparkly white with shadow black eyes, copper earrings, and a plum colored collar. _Wait-didn't he just come out of his mother's lady parts? How is he suddenly wearing that? These descriptions are so jacked up._

But he was oh-so sexy. The young cat smiled dreamily.

_**:::::::::::::::Fan Girl #1 at the Computer:**_

"_**AAAAAAAAAH!" Taylor screamed, looking at the screen in horror. "BEAUTIFULPAW'S A PEDOPHILE!"**_

_**Her mother came over, eyebrows scrunched in worry. "What is it, honey?" **_

_**The young girl shook her head in disgust. "And to think," she grimaced, "I was actually starting to like the story. But now, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!"**_

"_**Mom," a little boy pulled on the mother's pant leg, "Don't. She's going to go into **_troll mode_**."**_

_**The mom patted him on the head. "Thanks for the warning, Bryan. For that, you get an extra cookie."**_

_**Taylor's brother and mom left her alone once again. She furiously began typing into Google Search: **_Beautifulpaw Hate Club.

_**As quick as she could, she made an account on one of the websites, her username being: DieKawaiiBlodyRose3.**_

"_**9,894 members?" the Warriors fan asked in disbelief. "Damn. Let's see…StarClan United, The Real Warriors Bitch, Scientists in Heaven, I Made An Account To Flame…How many chats are there?"**_

"_**Whoops, here we go." She clicked on 'Pedophilia (Even With Cats) Is Wrong In Warriors Fandom'. **_

_**2:45 p.m.**_

Firehrtlvr57: I mean, WTH. I was okay with it. But then, noooo. We gots to go and 'almost' fall in love with a fucking kit. A KIT, YOU PHYSCO AUTHORESS!

FckSpttdlf: Exactly. It's not right. Even if she is just an apprentice, she shouldn't fall for a newborn cat.

_**2:47 p.m.**_

KawaiiBlodyRoseFan: Leave Beautifulpaw alone! You're lucky she was even created, you bastards.

WarrsRulz: STFU.

Fyfy: Go die in a hole.

Dogluver: Just get out, bitch.

IAMBLACKANDPROUD: No one asked you.

Fire H: WTF are you on?

FattyMcCatty9: Says kindly stop smoking your pot, KawaiiBlodyRoseFan.

Sisco K: Bitch, I will find you and kill you. Using the god forsaken Internet. Watch out.

_**2:48 p.m.**_

Jae B: Who even invited FanOfTheDevil?

LarkSongKcksAss: Haha. I just kicked her out :)

Fire H: Haha.

Sisco K: I bet that fat bitch went crying to her mommy lol

_**Taylor smirked and rubbed her hands together. Time to raise an army:::::::::::::::::::::**_

"Kawaii," meowed Beautifulpaw. Cometkit slowly started to scoot further away from her. Physco cats were very abundant today.

"Oh. Hi," said Greenpaw, padding toward Beautifulpaw with Redpaw following him.

"Hi," Beautifulpaw said blushing. Her cheeks were gold and really shiny. (Cuz she's kawaii. Geddit?)

"Your cheeks look like metal," Greenpaw snickered, causing Beautifulpaw to blush more. "Kawaii," said Redpaw.

"OH, NO YOU DIDN'T!" screamed…..

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><p><strong>AN: **What. A. Cliffhanger.

This chapter was actually pretty quick to write, probably because KawaiiBlodyRose didn't give me much to work with this chapter. But that means I'll update faster! YA-No.

I start school (FUCK YOU!) this Wednesday. I might have longer updates because of this. You never know, though. Sorry for any mistakes in this. We can't ALL be perfect like the original authoress.

I hope you guys liked the chatroom bit. Even if you didn't, it was fun to write :D


	4. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! School sucked the creative juices out of me. But luckily, KawaiiBlodyRose finally updated the 'last' chapter of Baeutiful Sperkle, putting creative juices and motivation back inside my mind.

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><p>Dedicated to <strong>KawaiiBlodyRose<strong>. Thank you for sharing one of the greatest stories of our time with us! ;)

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><p><em>Previously, on Beautiful Sparkle:<em>

"_OH, NO YOU DIDN'T SCREAMED…"_

_..._

….PRINCESSPAW!

"OH, NO!" said Skyrock, raping the ground. (I'm sorry! I _**had **_to leave it like that!)

"OH, NO!" echoed Beautifulpaw, dodging as Princesspaw clawed at her. "OH, NO!" repeated Beautifulpaw, crying. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND?"

"NO, YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH MY TOMFRIEND!"

"What's with all the caps?" asked Cometkit. Princesspaw and Beautifulpaw stopped for a moment to turn and look at him. They both shrugged. "Ask KawaiiBlodyRose," Princesspaw said before the angry apprentices went back into cat fight mode.

"OH, NO!"

"OH, NO!"

"OH, NOOOOOOOO!" EVERYONE SCREAMED.

Skyrock, getting up from the spot where she was previously raping the ground, shook her head and sighed, "We have definitely got to get new lines."

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE," said Princesspaw, lunging again. "Thank StarClan! Then we don't have to be in this stupid story anymore," one cat muttered, relief evident in his voice.

"Grrrrrrrr," growled Beautifulpaw.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr," said Princesspaw.

Beautifulpaw then did something she never did before!

"GRRRRRRRRR UR MAKING ME ANGRY!" she shouted and she pointed her paws at Princesspaw.

Christmasleaf snickered, "That'd be hilarious if she turned into the hulk right now."

A WHIRLPOOL SHOOTED OUT OF BEAUTIFULPAW'S PAWS!

IT WAS THE MOST PRETTIEST WHIRLPOOL EVER!

IT WAS TURQUOISE WITH SPACE COLORED STREAKS! IT WAS SPARKLY! VIOLET BOWS SHOOTED OUT AND GRABBED PRINCESSPAW BEFORE SUCKING HER IN!

"Wow," said Macaronistar, walking up to Beautifulpaw. "That was really flamboyantly gay. But nice."

"OMG! Thanks," said Beautifulpaw smiling even though she was a cat.

The whirlpool finally died down, leaving Princesspaw in a pile of very sparkly orange liquid. Her pretty and sparkly black fur was dyed bright red by the whirlpool!

"LOL. LAUGH. That's the stupidest thing you've ever did, Beautifulpaw," laughed Macaronistar.

"ROFL," said Beatifulpaw laughing, too. She didn't seem to notice that Macaronistar made fun of her work.

"LOL!" exclaimed Skyrock.

"C=KAWAII GIGGLE," said Cometkit.

"Grrrrrrr," commented Princesspaw as she licked her red fur with her pursed green sniff apple thong (Don't ask me! I tried to translate it as best as I could, but thought my translation was better than misspelling it again).

"You're a pretty cool cat," said Macaronistar to Beautifulpaw, "Want to join my In The Closet Club? It really helps. Just ask Pinappleleaf and RaineyMonday."

Beautifulpaw blinked. "Well, erm…I guess you could be a warrior?" Macaronistar asked uncertainly, rubbing the back of his neck with his paw.

"SURE!" shouted Beautifulpaw gleefully. She started prancing around the camp.

"What a bitch," DiamondTiaraSnowpaw snarled.

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><p>AN: What will Beautifulpaw's warrior name be? *gasp*

And for the 'flamboyantly gay' thing, no I don't have anything against gays. Just look at my profile.

Oh, and if KawaiiBlodyRose ever finds this story: **I don't hate you.** Baeutiful Sperkle is one of my favorites stories. Yes, it's true. You. Are. Awesome. Seriously.


	5. I Cried

**A/N:** I'm back. Yay. The sad thing is, guys….Baeutiful Sperkle has been deleted. *gasp*

I'm so broken hearted, and I'm sure all of you are too. If only I hadn't procrastinated and gotten the parody of it done, I wouldn't have to end it now. D:

Thank you, beloved readers, who have stayed with me to the end. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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><p>Note to Flamers: GRRRRRRRRR! YOU'RE DUMMIES! YOU'RE GONNA BE KILLED BY BEAUTIFULPAWSPARKLEFUR! (**A/N:**I bet all of you are shivering in your boots. Yeah, that's right. ;D)

To Not Flamers: Enjoy the chapter! And thanks for not being Flamers.

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><p>Macaronistar cleared his throat. "All cats cum over her," he instructed. Everyone looked confused for a moment, before their looks turned into that of repulsion. Their mac and cheese colored leader wanted them to do <em><strong>that<strong>_. Why in the hell would any cat do that with _**Beautifulpaw **_of all ThunderClan cats?

Said apprentice, future warrior, was practically glowing at the thought. All of the cats wanted her? Her sparkling, beautiful Mary Sue-ness must finally be kicking in. If she had a mane of hair, it would probably be blowing in the wind dramatically right now; showing off her awesomeness.

"Um, yeah. About that. We don't really want to." Beautifulpaw glared at the offender, Rareglimmer, who could definitely never be as wonderful as her. She decided this in an unsurprisingly quick amount of time. She had a good judge of character, being the best one in the story you're reading now. The rare, glimmering tom in front of her obviously had the worst personality in the whole Clan. When she became leader, he would be banished immediately.

Hazelstalker nudged his shoulder. "What he means is that we can't exactly do it. There are some lines in Warriors porn fics that should never be crossed. A whole ClanMating fic," the queen said solemnly, "Is one of those."

She hung her head and sniffled, acting like she had wanted to take part in one of those stories, when she was clearly as disgusted and repulsed as the others.

Beautifulpaw's tail drooped, but she supposed it was true. Looking at the ground that barely deserved to have her precious feet touch it, she felt the Ugly Cry about to come on.

Luckily for her Clanmates, Macaronistar seemed to understand what horrible doom the Ugly Cry would bring. "Ok. Beautifulpaw is very kawaii and smart and brave and powerful and stuff," he meowed gruffly.

"YEAH!" SHOUTED ALL THE WARRIORS, wanting to get this over with.

"She's going to be leader when I die," Macaronistar continued.

"YAY!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" screamed Christmasleaf.

Beautifulpaw smirked. "Screw StarClan," she said. "I'm deputy now." She puffed her fluffy, beautiful chest out.

"Oh, fuck this shit! I'm getting out of this shitty world," Christmasleaf growled. He then turned heel and walked out of the camp, but only after giving them all the claw. The other warriors looked on enviously, wishing they had enough balls to do what their brave ex-deputy had done.

"Christmasleaf!" yowled Macaronistar, "Come back!"

Columbiafoot shook her head sadly, "He's not coming back, Great Leader. Not after what you did to him."

"Oh. My. StarClan. Are you going to give me my warrior name or not?" Beautifulpaw bitched.

Macaronistar swallowed the lump in his throat, and decided to get the ceremony over with so he could go cry and sulk in his den.

"Fine, fine. Your new name's Sparklefur. Now fuck off," Macaronistar sobbed, turning tail and walking to his den-with swagger, of course.

Beautifulpaw, now Sparklefur, danced around on her hind legs, "Like, OH MY GOD! WHAT A KAWAII NAME! DOESN'T IT SUIT ME?"

Suddenly, a blinding white light erupted out of thin air. All cats shrieked and clawed at their eyes, all except Sparklefur, whose Sue-ness saved her from being subject to such an unKawaii sight.

The light slowly died down and the birds began to sing as a woman sitting on a bright pink unicorn appeared in front of the cats. She was dressed in a business suit with a hat that looked like it was from the 20's. The woman carried a gun, one much like what snipers would generally use.

The woman narrowed her eyes and looked at all the cats from her perch. She patted the unicorn and asked in a monotone, "Which one of you is Beautifulpaw?"

Sparklefur raised her paw high in the air, "Five minutes ago I was, but now I'm like, Sparklefur, so you should probably keep up with the times."

The woman smiled evilly, "My name's Literature. I'm the embodiment of all things related to writing and books. I'm such a BAMF that I'm personified."

Sparklefur's hackles rose. Who did this motherfucker think she was? Appearing in Sparklefur's camp with a motherfucking unicorn? What the hell.

"Excuse me?" Sparklefur hissed, unsheathing her claws.

"You heard me," Literature stated, "I'm about to set flame to this idiotic fantasy world of KawaiiBlodyRose. Well, if Grammar and Spelling don't beat me to it. My children do have a way of sneaking past me."

Literature aimed the gun in her hands at Sparklefur, "You were funny at first, but now it's time to go, honey."

She pulled the trigger, a bullet flying out and hitting Sparklefur dead in the head. Shouts and cheers erupted from the clan as they realized what happened. Macaronistar, who had been drawn to the scene by the unicorn, threw confetti in the air and danced around Literature and her unicorn.

Literature held up her hand, "Wait, wait, wait. Guys, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Fanfiction administrators are about to shut you all down. Don't start celebrating yet."

"W-what?" Hazelstalker whimpered.

"NOOO!"

"HOW CAN THIS BE?"

"WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"

"IT'S ATROCIOUS!"

Literature rubbed her head, "Okay, I don't really want to hear a Wicked song right now. I know you guys are depressed and saddened, but please. No. Just no. Music sings that way too many times."

The clan muttered their protest. They hadn't done anything wrong! Why was Fanfiction shutting _them_ down? They should at least be able to break out in song to show the unjustness of it all, right?

"Look," Literature explained, "KawaiiBlodyRose still has availability to this story. She can get through and bring shitty Sparkles back to life. Do you really want that?"

"No," the cats sighed.

Literature smiled, glad they understood, and waved, "Well, TTFN. I'm on my way to kill Enoby from My Immortal. Good luck on not being resurrected again. Hopefully for your sakes and mine, KawaiiBlodyRose won't try again."

"Come, Mr. Fluffle Lumpkins," she told the pink unicorn, "Onward. To the land of Harry Potter Mary Sues."

Mr. Fluffle Lumpkins neighed, kicking his front hooves in the air before bounding forward. Both Literature and her steed slowly disappeared into a rainbow, never to be seen again.

The cats looked at one another. What were they supposed to do now?

And then…

They were gone. There was no world of KawaiiBlodyRose. There were no magnificent, kawaii warriors. No more would they break the warrior code and laws of physics. What most were happy about, though, was that there was no more Beautifulpaw/Sparklefur. She was gone as well. All that was left was a gaping black hole in cyberspace. Many would be glad, they would rejoice and get high off of happiness.

But some? Some would be sad. A hysterical story that made them laugh till their sides hurt…was deleted. It was lost forever. Luckily, though, haters and lovers alike could come to CyilEib's story, a treasured tale of humor, reality, and life. So, yeah.

Sparklefur's legacy would live on.

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><p><strong>AN:** Wow. I actually finished a 'story' that was more than one chapter long. YAY FOR ME! So…did you hate it? Like it? Review please!

I was gone for almost three months. :( So sorry, guys. I didn't mean for it to end this way.

In that amount of time, Baeutiful Sperkle was deleted. I kind of just worked with what I could here. Don't you just love Literature? She's so BAMF she rides a pink unicorn named Mr. Fluffle Lumpkins and goes around shooting Mary Sues.

See ya'll around. Maybe? :)


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